Story Time

Here is my attempt at story writing:
In 1971, the year of the pig, lived 3 vertically challenged pigs in Islington. The first pig was a female social worker who lived on her own in a bed-sit on top of a charity shop.Pig

The second vertically challenged pig was a police person who lived in a semi-detached house. He had changed his name to Bill by dipole to avoid obvious confusion.

One of the Pigs……..

The third pig was a boring Microsoft and Cisco certified computer engineer who had no friends and was unsure about his sexuality. Not wishing to re-inforce the boring stereotype of programmers but he was indeed a very boring and dull pig.

There also lived a cold, hungry and homeless wolf. As a result of society treating him unfairly and giving him no opportunity to start a constructive career, the wolf turned into a Rastafarian. He rejected western culture and now believed that all property was theft. He was in no mood compromise and had decided to eat a social pig. Being a carnivorous animal this is a completely rational act.

The wolf knocked on the pigs door and politely asked if she wanted to be eaten by him. The pig was against cruelty to animals and was a strict vegetarian. She was busy cooking a lentil casserole when the wolf knocked. She offered the wolf a ready-prepared vegetarian spring roll with intention to form mutual friendship. The wolf being anti-vegetarian had a violent objection to the smell of vegetables and nearly emptied his abdomen there in the hallway. Consequently, he lost his temper and flung open the door and smacked the pig in the face…..

The pig ran off to the police pig’s house. Bill the pig was upset to be disturbed, as he was busy watching the pen-ultimate episode of a crime detecting series on independent television. The wolf followed and rang the doorbell. He said “little pigs, little pigs let me in or I’ll huff and puff and blow your house down”. The pigs explained we are not little pigs but simply vertically challenged. So the wolf rephrased and said “vertically challenged pig let me in or I’ll drive my land rover and ram-raid your house in!”. The pigs looked at the pig stained land rover and fled to the programmer pig’s house. #

The wolf immediately jumped into the vehicle and followed.

Now the third pig lived in a modern yuppie estate with high security, fencing, several dogs and a deep moat. The wolf being very hungry by this time shouted said “little pigs, little pigs let me in or I’ll huff and puff and blow your house down”. The pigs corrected him and replied “not by the random arrangement of follicles on my lower jaw”. That was the last straw for the wolf, who then his land rover towards the house at high velocity. The wolf did not see the pig made trench until it was too late. He plunged straight into it and traditionally died painlessly like the other thousand wolfs before him.

So the moral of the story is ………….. Cisco network engineering may be boring but the money will save your bacon…….

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